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Scholar
Original Poster
#1 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 8:04 PM Last edited by Florentzina : 21st Mar 2018 at 9:18 PM.
Default How would you decide whether a couple get married after the girl got knocked up, other than wants?
I've never been a big fan of going by wants as it limited some decisions and I like to marry off romance sims off as well and recently I've been adapting my game-style with the "aspiration and personality" take one many decisions such ideal kids, put kid for adoption (I like genetics, so I don't do abortion), risky woohoo, fertility and so on by calculating the total score for whatever their aspiration and personality are, and then add this to their ACR2 settings. Mostly use the ones from here: https://eien-herrison.dreamwidth.org/160237.html

For example, One of my sims couple want to have 4 children each and knowledge YA sims. The woman got knocked up from risky (and first) woohoo (popularity secondary, sloppy ) and now I'm trying to figure out whether I should let her have the child out of wedlock or "force" them to get married as soon as possible. She rolled the decision to keep it. Consider that the guy has secondary pleasure aspiration (and Bi-sexual), I'm currently debating this but consider both being knowledge sims, they are rather faithful as well.

I certainly don't want to wait for them to roll for it, so I wondering:
If not relying on wants, how would you decide whether a couple get married after getting knocked up before marriage?

(BTW, these are Pre-made Local teen sims from the vacation hoods through colleges: Pong and Rosemarie because I'm playing Uberhood right now, so those who read my previous thread, please ignore historical themes. This is not a personal thread. :-P I did remade the hood towards a more pre-modern touch, but that only involves the makeover and technology. I do like my sims to choose when to get knocked up so I tends to go with more old-fashioned decisions on risky woohoo/contraceptives.
Like The risky woohoo score on Eien herrison blog, I doubled the score for oopsie kids, but that its. )
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Scholar
#2 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 8:15 PM
It depends on a lot of factors. Are they Romance? Hard no. Primary Pleasure? No. Family? Yes. The rest depend on their relationship and a few other things. If their relationship is very strong, I'll have them tie the knot. If their family is one that would disapprove of a child out of wedlock, then they'd probably also marry to avoid disapproval. There's more, but I'm strapped for time on writing this.
Lab Assistant
#3 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 8:25 PM
Well, they're knowledge sims so I imagine they'd be in the interest of whatever is practical. The knowledge/popularity might be more interested in getting married because marriage is considered a big social leap, one that might better establish her identity within herself and the greater community. It would also be beneficial from a logical standpoint to at least move in together because they'd be a bit better equipped to co-parent if they were living together.

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Scholar
#4 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 9:02 PM
I can only think of two occasions where this has happened in my game, and both times the father was already married to someone else. The first time, he was married to Tank Grunt, who's one of my favourites, so I made him keep the secret and poor Erin had to raise her twins alone until she finally gave up and moved in with Loki and Circe. The second time, the father moved out and lived in sin with his "other woman," but he never actually married her (it was a semi-historical, very Catholic 'hood where divorce wasn't recognised); I just made him pay every Simoleon he earned to his wife until all of his legitimate children were adults. If the rules of the 'hood had allowed divorce, the second one might well have led to marriage.

Your two sound as though they probably shouldn't marry - they're too young and still at the stage of exploring possibilities. I'd be inclined to wait until they're adults, then see what their relationship is like.
Alchemist
#5 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 10:32 PM
I think it really depends on the sim and the type of story you have going for them. I'm definitely a story driven player so decisions like this always come down to the sim's storyline. So what type of people are your sims and what's the type of world do they live in? Maybe they're the type who say, 'Eh, we're in love and both want kids, so why not? Let's get married now and make it work.' Then maybe your hood allows for families and kids in university and they both stay in school and raise the baby. But maybe not. Maybe you view one of the sims' neat nature as a need to always have control, for everything to be nice and tidy. So there's no way they could get married and have a kid now because it wasn't in The Plan. So the baby goes up for secret adoption. And the partner doesn't find out about the baby until school is over, and when they do find out, they're pissed and break up with the other sim, vowing to raise the kid on their own. But maybe it's too late and the kid is lost now and they'll spend the rest of their life searching for their first born and the search puts a toll on all other relationships in the sim's life, etc., etc. It's easier for me to get a story going if I know who the sims are.

Personality points and aspiration can help here, but otherwise, I'd have to consider how I saw these two sims' lives going, what their backstory was/where they came from and what type of world do they live in/how sim society would react to the situation.

In my own game, I had a slightly similar situation last year. Angela Pleasant found herself pregnant in college. Her dad had died in a fire and Mary-sue had made it very clear that she expected both girls to marry up. Angela and Lilith had been sent to university not just for education, but because it was a status symbol for Mary-sue; a way to unlock wealth and prestige and schmooze with the "right sims." To set an example, Mary-sue married an older, well-to-do townie to keep up the Pleasant lifestyle she and the rest of the family had become accustomed to and she "encouraged" her mother to do the same after Herb died. So marrying money was ingrained in Angela.

But (after lots of boyfriend drama and partner swapping in her teen years) Angela was pregnant by Dirk Dreamer. A respectable boy on the right side of the tracks whom she knew her whole life. Of course she and Dirk would get married. While Dreamer wasn't a very prestigious name, it was a upstanding family. So when Mary-sue threatened to stop paying her tuition if Angela didn't abort the baby and get her life back on track, Angela shrugged. She and Dirk were in love; yeah he had slept around, but he had never cheated on her. The pair were inseparable at Uni and decided to get married. Angela dropped out of Sim State right after Dirk proposed. She was confident Dirk could provide for her like her father had done for her mom. It would be tough at first, but Dirk would finish Uni early then come home and they'd get married. He'd support them by working in the corporate world and Angela would stay at home until any kids they had were old enough for school and help Dirk schmooze his way up the corporate ladder. She'd be the perfect society wife. Or, at least that was the plan. Dirk, once Angela left, found he really liked Uni. He wanted to experience greek life and college parties. And he'd forgotten how much fun it was to date other people. He hadn't really thought of the future much, other than the fact he knew he didn't want his dad's life, with bills piling up everywhere. He didn't know if getting married young and having kids was really the way to go, you know? He just couldn't go through with the wedding until he was sure. He had to break up with Angela.

Angela, of course, was furious. And that fury lead to another storyline and all that baggage and history she has influences her choices. Yeah, maybe she does make "jerk moves" now, but she learned to look out for number 1. And that attitude influences how she treats her kids (because of course the game gave her twins), which will impact their future and choices, and on and on and on.

I think that's why I like the premades so much; they give a starting point to jump off of. So I guess I would suggest to anyone in such a dilemma to spend some time thinking about the backstory of your sims and the kind of people they are and where you'd like them to end up. And how you'd like them to get there. Like maybe this is your favorite sim ever and you want life to be great and all perfect for him or her, or maybe you hate a sim and want them to suffer a little, or maybe you know you want your sim to end up with a good life but you want to take the long road and experience everything the game has to offer first, or want to got through lots of drama, etc.
Idk. I guess I'll stop rambling now.

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#6 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 10:52 PM
I would ask, are they both single, do either want to get married, do they have parents who would pressure them to get married. As someone said, whats the story? If there is no story, I guess go by wants either theirs or yours.

I never get why people automatically place pleasure sims in with romance sims. I made my simself pleasure because she's a gamer! To me pleasure aspiration has nothing to do with marriage or lack of it.

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Scholar
Original Poster
#7 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 11:06 PM Last edited by Florentzina : 21st Mar 2018 at 11:47 PM.
Well, there is no particular story. I've everyone who are in love flagged with "steady".

Currently started playing Uber-hood, focusing first on the townies, right now it's the teen moved to Uni, which do not have relatives (although I make some of the teens siblings or cousins with same lastname or appearance) tweaking with some game-play styles I haven't play much before.

They are studying in a public university where grade doesn't matter that much and all townies that are teen, child or elder are given a lower class status.

Funny enough, the first batch of 8 sims, all of the females got knocked up after becoming sophomore's. Using the rolls, one end up aborting it, three moved back to main hoods while being engaged and one fooling around with the guys. The couple I added as example end up cheating with the last girl and the other girl did end up rolling wants for getting engaged, so I went with that. Whether they get married or not, I'm still not sure coz I do love triangle dramas.

I've very short college play-through (smaller cheating adding skills if they need it for next semester), four days and set each semester at 12h each, so there is not much time between being YA and Adult, I don't think the age they get wed (since I play premade and adapted it into pre-modern, like early 20th century or late 19th century, I still like them to marry at younger ages).
Scholar
#8 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 11:26 PM
I'll often use their aspiration as a guide - like others have said, romance is usually a "no", family is nearly always a definite "yes", and the others vary. In the uberhood, the aspiration is only used very loosely - I prefer to look at the sims as a whole, and usually have at least a bit of a pre-planned storyline going. Marriage (or not) is tied into that. Pun not intended!

In my BACC hood, the aspiration was used more rigidly:
Family always married, unless their secondary aspiration was Romance. In that instance, they rolled for it, but had a 75% chance of marrying.
Romance never married, unless they had Family as their secondary. This time the chance of marriage was 25%.
All other aspirations rolled for it, with a 50% chance of marriage.
If a sim was scheduled to marry, a second roll gave a 25% chance of choosing their own spouse. Otherwise, they were "allocated" one (I use a random number generator, the sim's gender preference and a numbered list of available sims to pick from).
The only exception to the rule was if a teen sim got knocked up - she had to marry the father of her child, regardless of whether one or both was destined to get hitched.

The timing of marriage, however, is usually left up to the wants panel. If a sim in the uberhood feels the want to marry, and I feel it's right for them at that time, then I'll go for it. If not, then they might coast along together and "live in sin" for a while. This is also true for a sim who gets the chance to choose their spouse in the BACC. The ones who are "allocated" a spouse marry at the start of their adult years.

No need to use my full name, "Selly" will do just fine.
Scholar
#9 Old 21st Mar 2018 at 11:52 PM
Quote: Originally posted by joandsarah77
I never get why people automatically place pleasure sims in with romance sims. I made my simself pleasure because she's a gamer! To me pleasure aspiration has nothing to do with marriage or lack of it.


Well, the game associates Pleasure with romance and popularity related wants, so ingame wise, it feels similar to romance.
Scholar
Original Poster
#10 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 12:05 AM
Well, It's bit tricky to have 20 FIRST Dates for a Married Pleasure sim that IS faithful though. I also associate them with romance because of that. (I randomize the kno-plea guy's LTW, it ended up with the adventure career, though *pheew*).

Popularity is slightly better, I mostly only get the Have 4 kids fear relationship fears with them, but with tweaked ACR2 ideal kid system, that's no big deal for me (coz even some family sims might not even get two if they are grouchy). Fortune and Knowledge I'm neutral with (hence torn with the decisions along with the former two). Family sims seems to only want to get married and have kids they don't care much about later on, like a baby factory. Occasionally marry romance sims off, especially ones from wealthier families which I DO prefer to get married (ironically, my favorite aspiration is family in the game, but hated aspiration in real life. I neither want kids or get married but love genealogy. ) Romance Sims with family as either primary and secondary are hilarious, fear and want to get married at the same time.

But apart from Knowledge and Family, I don't think you get much "get engaged to" wants when they are still young which why i don't like to rely on wants. I mostly use them as inspiration..

Selly_2009. Thats a good idea as I love using rolls in my game.
Scholar
#11 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 1:12 AM
Florentzina, thanks. I got the idea from iCad's BACC ruleset (well, their Additions & Tweaks page), but chose my own percentages for the aspiration marriage chances. I wanted a bit of randomness in that hood, but not the whole kit and caboodle!

No need to use my full name, "Selly" will do just fine.
Mad Poster
#12 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 4:43 AM
In my game, pregnancy does not in any way affect whether or not Sims get married. In Sweden that whole "out of wedlock" thing doesn't really exist, I would argue it's equally common to have kids out of marriage as it is in a marriage. If you pressured me to guess which is more common I would say having kids first, just based on the people I've met in my life. So that's what's normal to me, and that's how my game is played. So the plans for marriage are the same as they were before, and timeline for said possible marriage remains the same too. If they were to get married soon, they will marry soon, if they weren't, they won't.

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Mad Poster
#13 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 11:30 AM
I had this problem just last night.
Because the couple who had sex were not particularly romantically inclined, (just really close friends, no 'marry me' wants) when the female got pregnant after a impromptu session on the couch she decided that she was not prepared to have a child yet, wanted to accomplish things before getting married and having babies-also that she didn't want to marry the father of the child.

She took the 'morning after' pill and that was the end of the problem.

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Scholar
Original Poster
#14 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 1:19 PM Last edited by Florentzina : 22nd Mar 2018 at 5:27 PM.
Gummilot
I'm from Sweden too, so I know very well how marriage is her. I had a friend who married her "woohoo"-buddy and have two kids in the her 20's. My mother is half decade older and hade kids in her 30's and recently had second cousin once removed popped up across my big family (2 aunts and 5 uncle's, my mother had at least 20 cousins)

I'm not a big fan of open relationships but I also demi/a-sexual so that might influence it and those I had ... didn't turn out so well.


I often influenced by random stories I read and watch over real life events but usually find relationships harder to simulate. Used to write scripts but relationship and dialogs is one of my biggest struggles. Using rolls and math along with games mechanism helps me on this part.

I play semi-realistic but it's never impact my game play. Otherwise I would have a hood with a-sexual pleasure-knowledge Sims playing video games and have tons of pets. (Had 5 cats, 2 pigs and 2 hamsters & 1 bunny before they passed away apart from three cats).
Forum Resident
#15 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 2:14 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Florentzina
If not relying on wants, how would you decide whether a couple get married after getting knocked up before marriage?


I am a story driven player, other than wants I tend to look at the Sims fears regarding their relationships. Fears of being rejected for a proposal is an indication of a desire for marriage. I also pay attention to their thought bubbles and conversations; engagement rings and wedding rings in their thoughts and conversation are also indications to me that they want to be married.

I have a Sim, Jade Quintero, who became pregnant as a result of a one night stand. They didn't like each other well enough to continue a romantic relationship. Jade became involved with another Sim while pregnant and they moved in together. Fast forward, Jade and her daughter's biological father have a great relationship and he's also friends with her boyfriend. Jade now has a son with her boyfriend neither of them has rolled a want for marriage. Jade and her daughter's father share parenting with their daughter.

I just had my first teen pregnancy; this is one aspect I never played before. I play with ACR, JSW Bouquet, Chris Hatch alternative pregnancy mod and Lamare’s Uni mods. I have a teen that got pregnant as a result of a booty call initiated by a college student on campus. The teen is a member of my legacy family so they will be getting married when she becomes a Young Adult. I’m glad that both of them are Family Sims and want to get married. If the young lady was not a part of my legacy family the choice of marriage would have been solely their choice.


Quote: Originally posted by joandsarah77
I never get why people automatically place pleasure Sims in with Romance Sims. I made my simself pleasure because she's a gamer! To me pleasure aspiration has nothing to do with marriage or lack of it.


I have several Sims who are gamers with max games enthusiasm with aspirations other than Pleasure. It's been my experience in my game that Pleasure Sims rarely roll a want to be married, and if they have it's usually with their first love. I really enjoy playing Pleasure Sims; I’ve found them to be either extremely loyal or straight up rouges when it comes to love and relationships. I prefer them to Romance Sims. They often roll some of the same wants as Romance Sims when it comes to woohoo wants and desires. I love the combination of Pleasure/Popular the best. In my neighborhood, Pleasure Sims are happiest with either multiple partners or just living together with a significant other and having children without marriage.

There is one particular Pleasure Sim in my game who has been involved in a long-term relationship with 2 women. About 3 days before he became an elder he rolled a want to have a baby. He already had a daughter with one of the women and she would have been his choice to have another child with but she was no longer able to children. His other lover just gave birth to twin girls and there have been no wants/fears or thoughts about marriage.
Mad Poster
#16 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 6:08 PM
Usually if two sims have 3 bolts for each other, I have them marry - and be absolutely faithful. If teens pair up, and still love each other as adults, I let them marry if they WANT to. But no matter what their relationships or personalities, if I want kids from a sim I will "arrange" a baby - the parents may never even MEET each other! Those children are usually adopted out, to be raised by a loving family.

Stand up, speak out. Just not to me..
Lab Assistant
#17 Old 22nd Mar 2018 at 11:37 PM
In my hood right now, I have a whole line of women descended from an initial romance sim who all have at least two kids unmarried and young (teens or college) because the romance sim accidentally got herself knocked up in college and then coincidentally her daughter got herself knocked up as a teenager (and she needed to go to college because she was the only one who could age-up and hold the greek house and I only use townies as a last resort when absolutely nobody is able to go to college) and left mom with the twins for a while and then those twins have gotten themselves knocked up as teenagers... also, coincidentally, no male heirs in this line so far, because I always use "oldest son" inheritance rules in this hood. So yeah, this line has kind of got a "make the same mistakes as your teen mom single mom" thing going on and none of these girls, no matter the aspiration, are getting married at their first unmarried pregnancy. Besides that, i actually usually wait until after a baby is born to get my sims married because I'm fond of getting good wedding snaps to put in the family's new home, and base whether it happens off financial and social necessity and how the girl feels about the babydaddy. Nobody is getting married to their ACR casual bootycall they don't actually love except if both sims are family sims, ect. If they're best friends, marriage. Also, it depends on if it's a townie sim or controllable: I love creating in-depth stories for sims born in this hood, so I'll get them married and divorced later or whatever, ect, but townies I generally don't marry into a family unless I plan for the townie to stick around; otherwise, I keep them in the townie pool.
Mad Poster
#18 Old 23rd Mar 2018 at 11:08 AM
For what it is worth: here in South Africa couples who live together for more than 5 years and have kids will simply, by law, be seen as having a traditional marriage. The advantages are that if one dies, the other one will get his/her fair share of the estate, even if there is no will, and the father, if taking off (which is a problem in this country), will be held responsible for maintenance without much trouble.
Forum Resident
#19 Old 24th Mar 2018 at 10:41 PM
I flip coins for unexpected pregnancies when I don't know what to do.

Stay pregnant or end it
Keep the baby or adoption
Marry the father or break-up

Makes for a more interesting story. Sometimes sims can make bad choices.
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